| JJ Ingersoll, our head of global focus, has just had a wonderful idea. Our chairman came down and made him a huge bet that he couldn't think of a trade that would return the firm to profitability in the second quarter. What a bet! He chose the right person. JJ is no shoeshine-boy from the Midwest. The great JJ spat on his shoe, twanged a brace, then got out his dick and swung it. Eighteen, maybe 19 seconds later, JJ said, "Heh, maybe we should sponsor a contest." Even I thought this a bit wild. But JJ continued as if thinking on the spot and not knowing what would come out next. "... Yes, a Eurovision Bond Contest. All the nations of Europe will put forward their best Eurobonds, singing on air." The floor eagerly listened to what 24 years of global focus could bring to bear on an insoluble problem like the firm's second quarter profits. The younger traders went crazy. YEHHH, A CONTEST they were shouting. BUT WHAT'S THE PRIZE MAN? MAN, LIKE, YEHHH, WHAT'S THE WINNER'S REMUNERATION? JJ looked into the eye of the needle - the trading floor. "The winner," he began, "will effortlessly qualify for European monetary union even if its budget deficit exceeds 3% of GDP." When |