Off the record

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"I’ve got tickets for the world cup final. My boss was on the phone asking me about that and I told him that it was a client event I had booked in six years ago. It was probably a mistake. He pointed out that I didn’t work here six years ago"

This senior banker really has succumbed to world cup fever



"Excellence bleeds through this institution"


One investment bank head gets a bit carried away in his pitch. We weren’t sure whether to be impressed or call a doctor



Banker
: [annoyed] "What do you mean we were ranked fifth for sovereign issuance? We were fourth. What source are you using? What date ranges?"


Euromoney: "I’m referring to your submission. Slide three"

Banker: "Oh. Right"

"Well, this is one meeting at least that I can be totally honest in"

A global markets chief is confident that his firm’s credentials will speak for themselves, without embellishment or worse



"He’s not a pirate, he’s a terrorist!"


An investment banker does not quite share our description of a former colleague



"When I started 10 years ago I woke up every morning thinking about how I wanted to kill Citi. Now I wake up every morning thinking about how I want to kill JPMorgan"


One banker has a fail-safe way to keep tabs on the competition



"This is a firm that exists only to help clients. Right now, in a low rate world, we’re helping them by sourcing less liquid, more structured, more leveraged investments"


With help like this, clients of this global head of credit have nothing to worry about