Top 10 financial definitions that are funnier since the credit crunch
These tongue-in-cheek versions of common financial parlance are particularly insightful given recent market events.
Auditor: Person that arrives after a battle to finish off the wounded.
Bull market: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius
Bear market: Eight months when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery and the husband gets no sex
Broker: The person that you trust with thousands of your hard-earned dollars
Broker: What my broker has made me
EBIT: Earnings before irregularities and tampering
EBITDA: Earnings before I tricked the dumb auditor
Momentum investing: The art of buying high and selling low
Value investing: The art of buying low and selling lower
Standard and Poor (S&P): Your life in a nutshell