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Euromoney: "What is it about your client’s economic fundamentals that make it such a compelling story?"

Banker: "You mean in terms of GDP growth?"

Euromoney: "Yeah. What is the country’s competitive advantage?"

Banker: "Err... can I get back to you? I don’t have the notes in front of me. I did the deal a week ago and was a lot sharper then"

A DCM banker struggles to remember his client’s unique selling points

"It appears that senior bank debt is the new lower tier 2 and that covered bonds are the new senior"

One credit investor predicts a dark future for bank bonds

"We don’t even have any biscuits to offer. Don’t put that in your gossip column"

A PR at a European bank where cost cutting has reached extreme levels

"Yes, it would be great to get together for a drink when you’re next in town. Then I’ll be able to give you my real opinion"

A Tokyo-based banker ends a long conference call with a hint that the presence of his colleagues from corporate communications on the line might have stifled him somewhat

"I’ve never really been interested in money"

A Goldman Sachs banker explains his career choice

"It’s like having internet sex"

Veteran FX dealer on the behaviour of high-frequency traders

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