Frankfurt is getting its swagger on, attracting more banks to declare it their post-Brexit European headquarters than any of the other city suitors thus far.
Perhaps that’s not so surprising when it is the European city that – superficially at least – most resembles Canary Wharf.
Now, lobbying organization Frankfurt Main Finance is spraying on the Lynx and doubling down.
It launched a cartoon video pitch in October, creepily anthropomorphising the city into Frank Furt, a man ordering a drink in a bar when a woman, Natalie, decides to make a pass at him.
“Were your parents architects? Because you sure are well-built,” she purrs.
Yes. FMF has made an allegory of the urban mating dance stand for banking’s Brexodus.
When Natalie finds out Frank’s true identity (this is all just so weird), she ticks off her prejudices against the man/city: closed-minded, no culture, boring, bad food.
Furt parries: modern architecture, high-end shopping, bustling farmers’ markets and beautiful landscapes. Also, a short flight to pretty much anywhere in Europe.
Then the best part – the most German part, the err… frankest part – of the pitch.
Natalie pokes at his ego with: provincial.
Hurt, Furt replies: “What?! Do I look like a farmer?! I wouldn’t call six million people provincial, would you?”
Euromoney isn’t sure where the six million comes from: the city’s population in 2015 was less than 720,000; it struggles to reach some 2.3 million even when the greater conurbation with Offenbach am Main is included.
But, you know, the scene is tough, this whole situation is confusing (both Brexit and this cartoon allegory thing) and, on the Brexit dating scene, you’ve got to sell hard.