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Off the record

November 2017 issue

“I’ll be fine. I lived through the great crash of 2011”

One US securitization vet recalls a young trader saying this to him at a conference. He gave the tyro a yarn about a little thing called the global financial crisis

“How will this play out in the government bond markets? Ah, I remember the days when we used to have a government bond business. We now have a high-yield bond business instead: a decision that was taken for us in Basel”

A trader at one large European bank betrays mixed feelings at the prospect of rising rates

“It is like mom and dad are arguing about where to go on vacation: mom wants to go to Maine and dad wants to go to New Jersey. But dad has just jumped in the car, locked the doors and we are all driving to New Jersey…”

One US lawyer is not a fan of Mifid II’s impact on the global capital markets

“A bunch of my clients are hairier than the bank might necessarily want”

Risk analysis, high-yield style

“John’s problem is that his senior staff are full to the gunwales with equity; none of us other firms want to buy them out, so his junior staff fuck off”

A rival banker outlines the staff retention challenge for Deutsche Bank CEO John Cryan

“I heard the same thing in 1999, that the British banks were going to be stuffed because the UK wasn’t joining the euro and they wouldn’t have the capacity to compete with the Europeans. Well, a home currency didn’t save ABN Amro”

In the run-up to Brexit, a bank capital investor cautions against writing off UK banks like people did 20 years ago

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