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Foreign Exchange

Breaking news: Browning hospitalized

"If only I had taken a taxi up Alpe d'Huez like the illustrious author, no doubt all this would have been avoided......"

Ain’t no mountain high enough

Marcus Browning, a foreign exchange dealer of no fixed abode, was rushed to hospital on Monday evening. Browning, who is well known for overdoing things, was working out in the gym with his private trainer, when he ruptured his right Achilles tendon. Apparently, he was in the middle of a set of star jumps or something, not exactly a sensible way to recover from an arduous bike ride over mountains, when he ruptured the tendon.

“There was an almighty crack and I felt really sick,” Browning told the Weekly FiX from his hospital bed. “It’s completely ruptured and my ankle was just dangling. I’ve spent the night with all the drunken stab victims in Whitechapel Hospital. I really need this,” he added. Browning was due to undergo surgery on Tuesday and he said he would then look to move to a more swanky hospital befitting his social status. He has been told that he is likely to be on crutches for up to 12 weeks.


“I thought going for a run the evening before La Marmotte was a bit daft,” said one of the other City Winkers who did La Marmotte with Browning. “He clearly pushed too hard to try and stay ahead of the big boys. That’ll ‘kin learn ‘im,” he added. On a more positive note, my laptop seems to be functioning a lot better since I deleted all the poker programs which one of the muckers downloaded on to it last week.


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