“I’d rather put needles in my eyes than give you a mandate!”
A UK bank tells a potential underwriter how successful a pitch meeting was
“I would tell you, but I’m worried you might write it down…”
An investment banker finally grasps the nature of the relationship between a source and a journalist
“Those plans are confidential. In fact, they are fucking confidential”
The head of investor relations at a major company asked about plans for funding reveals just how secret the plans are
“The ratings agencies have the highest margins this side of the Colombian agribusiness sector”
Special plaudits to Glenn Reynolds, the CEO of CreditSights, for going on the record with a quote that most people wouldn’t dare put their name to, even if they thought it was true
“You know what those guys should do before they come and see me with their ideas? Watch Jerry Maguire three or four times. That guy was a great salesman, he understood about client relationships”
The CFO of a Latin American company gives his unique training tips to banks’ origination officials
“I have these guys come up to me who say ‘I’ve wanted to be an investment banker since I was 15’. I never hire them. I just say ‘Jeez, you need to get a life’”
A senior investment banker on how not to get on a graduate trainee programme
“The structured credit world right now is similar to kids playing football in the playground. Everyone is running after the ball instead of trying to hold their shape”
An expert explains the problems that every coach of a bank structured credit team has in keeping his players’ exuberance in check
“Yeah, getting rid of that capital gains tax for foreign investors was a good step, but the cost of doing business in Brazil is still way too high. Once we hit investment grade things should pick up a bit, but for now we’re stuck with a monkey president who wants to tax every damn thing that happens in this country”
Our man in Rio, spotted carrying a copy of Euromoney, gets the low-down on the Brazilian economy in a 20-minute conversation with Antonio, selling food on a street corner