Merrill Lynch HSBC, the online share dealing and research platform for high-net-worth individuals, has fallen on hard times, with disappointing trading volumes. The banks involved will no doubt live to fight another day, but spare a thought for the 150 employees that the venture has made redundant. Not only have they lost their jobs, an attempt to give them career advice has added insult to injury.
After delivering the news that some of its staff would be leaving, Merrill Lynch HSBC hired a recruitment adviser to give them tips on finding a new job. You can’t knock his enthusiasm. “Congratulations!” he said to the small number of ex-staff that attended the session. “You have just got the biggest promotion of your life. You are now the CEO of Me Plc!”
The adviser then handed out sample CVs, giving pointers on how best to demonstrate their skills. But these CVs were for PAs and chauffeurs, not bankers. Gems of knowledge from the adviser included writing your name at the top of the CV, rather than “curriculum vitae”. One of the ex-employees says the session would have been more appropriate for “bank clerks from Leamington Spa”.
Good intentions
No-one doubts that the adviser’s intentions were good. Says an ex-employee, now relaxing with his severance package: “He was a perfectly nice chap. It was just what you would expect to hear at a university careers fair.” Our source says no-one turned up to the afternoon session after lunch. Perhaps they preferred the advice of the local pub landlord.
For its part, Merrill Lynch HSBC says it still has plans to expand, although not quite as aggressively as it had originally thought. It has scrapped plans to set up in Germany and Japan, and it is making telephone trading cheaper, to try to boost volumes. Says the source: “Morale is pretty low in the office. Nobody feels their job is safe.” Rumours abound that Merrill Lynch may pull out of the project entirely within three months but the venture says it still has all to play for. Its statement is typically vague for an announcement about a struggling website: “In the light of current economic conditions, we’re working closely with both our parents to structure our business going forward,” it says.
But the venture needs no lessons from its US parent on how to make a mess of getting rid of people. The thundering herd is setting new lows for corporate disingenuousness, with human resources staff bleating on in recent memos to demoralized staff about how the firm’s absurdly named “voluntary separation” programme is providing employees with “a catalyst for changing or accelerating plans for the future”.
A memo states that 2,600 people will participate in its separation and sabbatical programmes – not least Henry Blodget, the firm’s internet analyst who has succeeded in negotiating an estimated $2 million severance deal.
Merrill says participation in the scheme is “consistent with our expectations”. But other sources indicate that another 5,000 to 6,000 of compulsory layoffs are required.
