THE MOORGATE SAGA
Dear Mrs Schicklgruber, gee, Mom, I never figure I call you this, but I hope the two of you are just as happy as two clams at high tide, and I sure congratulate our former president, old Mr Schicklgruber, somehow I still call him that tho' the word is how this wonder drug from Pfizer makes him young again.
Like you say, a new life begins here, that condominium at West Palm Beach sounds just the home for you, a truly tasteful location with neighbours to match, I am thrilled you and he plan to keep on his holiday bunker at Punta del Este, so handy for all his old classmates, I figure at this year's reunion the rafters come off.
Mom, I do see you have to keep this one a secret, even from me, you may recall I figure the president never hands over, on account at 106 he is long past the age of retiring, tho' by now he must roll up a handsome pension plan, quite apart from any gold he may bring with him in that submarine way back in 1945.
I hear the board is as much fazed as anyone, at first all the betting is on your new nephew by marriage, Harvey Q.