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“Do not make any moves. You have been spotted”The slightly alarming message that popped up onto a blank screen when one of our correspondents tried to log in the press centre website of the Ukrainian Ministry of Economy & Trade

“I think people who are not bookrunners will show you league tables that are ex-Alibaba”One banker in Asia speculates on how Alibaba might affect rankings

Banker: “Our coverage model is now fully transversal”Euromoney: looks blankBanker: “What I mean is that we don’t embed coverage people in the business lines selling just one product. Our coverage teams try and sell every product to every client”This head of investment banking is confident the firm’s clients simply love that

“I have a meeting this afternoon with an international investor who wants to buy into Ukraine. The first thing I’ll be asking him is whether he has a medical certificate”As one Kiev-based banker reveals, buying Ukraine assets is not for the faint-hearted

“Every credit sale we have made has been bad. We would have been better off if we hadn’t sold anything at all”One fund manager is refreshingly honest about the pitfalls of trying to call the end of the bull market in credit