Off the record

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"It’s pretty simple, but it’s mind boggling"

A head of transaction services talks about what he thinks big data is and leaves us none the wiser

"We show clients what is wrong with them. We say: 'Lie down there and we’ll show you your cholesterol levels’"

Another transaction services banker reckons he is also a doctor

"Selling a portfolio of distressed loans is the financial equivalent of a proctological exam"

A buyer explains away some banks’ reluctance to shed assets

"Who won it last year?"

A press officer shows just how much he cares after failing to remember that his bank won best regional investment bank in last year’s Euromoney awards for excellence

"Who is Kagame?"

Overheard at the Africa Development Bank Annual Meeting in Kigali, Rwanda. Paul Kagame is president of Rwanda

"There is a huge infrastructure deficit in Africa. Although you wouldn’t be able to tell this from being in Kigali. The roads are bloody great here"

A delegate from Nigeria tries, but fails, to highlight the African infrastructure gap

"It is very easy to buy five-year bonds from the National Bank of Hungary, but it is very hard to sell them back to Morgan Stanley"

Secondary bond market illiquidity explained

"If you stick a monetary policy-driven steam roller into first gear and roll it down the yield curve, it is stupid to stand in its way"

Why credit investors keep on buying

"We, as a community, are a minority and we deserve rights. You, quite rightly, could not make such disparaging remarks against gay people or black people, so why do we receive personal attacks all the time?"

A global head of FX sales’ response to the populist backlash sounds a tad melodramatic