Top 10 financial definitions that are funnier since the credit crunch

These tongue-in-cheek versions of common financial parlance are particularly insightful given recent market events.

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Auditor: Person that arrives after a battle to finish off the wounded.

Bull market: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius

Bear market: Eight months when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery and the husband gets no sex

Broker: The person that you trust with thousands of your hard-earned dollars

Broker: What my broker has made me

EBIT: Earnings before irregularities and tampering

EBITDA: Earnings before I tricked the dumb auditor

Momentum investing: The art of buying high and selling low

Value investing: The art of buying low and selling lower

Standard and Poor (S&P): Your life in a nutshell