Investment banks have a genius for gobbledegook. Whether dressing up their activities in meaningless jargon to bamboozle their clients, or giving preposterous job titles to their people to make them feel more important, they are masters of the craft.
It is a long time since the appearance of silly-sounding titles such as "global head" first raised a titter. And we have all become jaded by the serial abuse of language carried out by investment banks over the years.
But every once in a while comes a description so fatuous that it warms the heart. So it was with real pleasure that we greeted the appointment by UBS in New York of Mona Lau as a managing director and head of "group diversity initiative".
We wondered, briefly, whether they meant group diversification initiative - getting out of investment banking and into something more profitable, perhaps? But no, UBS assures us that diversity it is.
By way of explanation, we are told that the initiative involves "bringing the UBS Group together" - a job we wouldn't wish on anyone, and one that surely implies less diversity, not more.
All we do know is that Lau has spent most of her Wall Street career dealing with diversity. She joins UBS from Deutsche Bank, where she revelled in the even more glorious title "global head of diversity". Isn't that supposed to be God's job - or, at the least, the UN secretary-general's?
But our personal favourite - which she held for seven years at Bankers Trust before the Deutsche takeover in 1999 - is this gem: managing director of globalization and diversity executive education and mobility.
No amount of punctuation - let alone explanation - could ever make sense of such a title. Can anyone beat it? Entries on a postcard, please - with business card attached.